"Giving up" something for lent.

For the past few years, I have not given anything up for lent. I have had issues with this, just because I feel as if its more of an excuse to give up some materialistic item for a brief time, but it doesn't necessarily represent my personal Lenten journey. If it works for you, more power. I felt that giving up something such as chocolate or rice hasn't connected me with Jesus or what he went through during his journey, which is what I have been wanting to connect with during this sacred time.

Instead, I have been listening to Drew Sarich's rendition of "I only want to say/Gethsamene" from the rock opera production, Jesus Christ Superstar. I did not truly appreciate this song until Dylan showed me this rendition, but a few things have popped into my head while listening to it:

-Wow, what a voice
-I have never reflected on what kind of personal turmoil Jesus must've been dealing with through this time. I feel like all I've really heard is the outside perspective..
-The song really lays out different emotions and an interesting timeline that captures the different emotions from realization, frustration, regret, anger to final acceptance.

For the past year, I have realized that these emotions that are evoked in the song are exactly what I've been feeling towards God. Not to go into detail now, but I know that these emotions are normal, and my relationship with God will be ever changing as time goes on and life passes by. Now, I have recognized that this is happening and I can reflect and meditate on these emotions, rather than question why I'm feeling this way. Accept it, pray about it, and move on from it.


Bye for now,
-nalovita.